"Love keeps no record of wrongs," St. Paul tells in his first letter to the Corinthians (13:5). The verse comes in the midst of a description of what love is. Since our theme for a while is forgiveness, what does that have to do with forgiveness?
What is unforgiveness but keeping a record of wrongs done to us? We can keep that record, reciting a litany of wrongs done to us ad infinitum. Or we can choose to forgive the person. I say "choose" because forgiveness is a choice and an act of the will. It does not depend upon our feelings finally being at a point where we can forgive. Forgiveness does not excuse what was done nor does it mean that what occurred was all right. It also does not give the person permission to hurt us in the same way again.
For Reflection: In my experience of praying with people I have found many people say they have forgiven someone, but the hurt obviously remains. In that case it is best to forgive in detail. For example, "I forgive (name) for calling me stupid, for saying I was dumb, incompetent and worthless." This is different than just saying, "I forgive (name)." If we have forgiven someone and yet the hurt remains years later, we should forgive them specifically, in detail, for everything they said or did. The relief from the anger and hurt will come, usually quickly. Pronouncing the forgiveness aloud is helpful also.
Let us pray. Father, when you forgive us you keep no record of our wrongs, you wipe the slate clean. Help me to pronounce forgiveness for those who have hurt me and to let the list of their wrongs be erased.
What is unforgiveness but keeping a record of wrongs done to us? We can keep that record, reciting a litany of wrongs done to us ad infinitum. Or we can choose to forgive the person. I say "choose" because forgiveness is a choice and an act of the will. It does not depend upon our feelings finally being at a point where we can forgive. Forgiveness does not excuse what was done nor does it mean that what occurred was all right. It also does not give the person permission to hurt us in the same way again.
For Reflection: In my experience of praying with people I have found many people say they have forgiven someone, but the hurt obviously remains. In that case it is best to forgive in detail. For example, "I forgive (name) for calling me stupid, for saying I was dumb, incompetent and worthless." This is different than just saying, "I forgive (name)." If we have forgiven someone and yet the hurt remains years later, we should forgive them specifically, in detail, for everything they said or did. The relief from the anger and hurt will come, usually quickly. Pronouncing the forgiveness aloud is helpful also.
Let us pray. Father, when you forgive us you keep no record of our wrongs, you wipe the slate clean. Help me to pronounce forgiveness for those who have hurt me and to let the list of their wrongs be erased.
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